Me and Joe have a nice talk
Me: Hey Joe, are you excited to be playing on the MTV music awards tomorrow?
Joe: You never saw me smoking.
Me: But that's a candy cigarette, right?
Joe: Oh, right. Candy. Yeah. Whatever, it'll be cool. Why don't you go play with your stuffed animals?
Me: WHATTT DID YOU CALL THEM?
Joe: Your stuffed animals.
Me: WEBKINZ, JOE! They're called webkinz. I like playing with you too.
Joe: Remember, this conversation never happened.
Then he stubbed out his candy cigarette on his arm and walked away.
Sep 6th
Russell Brand on the Jonas Brothers
Perez Hilton: So, Russell, out of all the people who are coming on Sunday, who would you like to have sex with the most?
Russell Brand: Well, there's three guys out there that wear virginity rings. If by the end of the evening, I've not got them around my neck like a serial killer with ear lobes hanging around his necklace, then I will consider my job not properly done.
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Frankie (ME!): You know... sometimes I actually am glad that I'm left out.
Sep 6th